The Wrong Choice of Life...

Many women have dreams about getting married; being with the man they love. Even I had my own dream of a beautiful wedding. I actually wanted to get married on a perfect wedding as I can’t resist myself imagining it. But also sometimes I get a thought to believe that there is nothing to think about the wedding as when the day comes all factors for the perfect wedding may already be chalked out.

Every girl in her twenties will have the biggest dream in finding the right Mr. Right.

Yeah, I mean that is what every girl will have a thought of THE Mr Right, that is not denial able though. Prince charming, Prince of Love, bla..! bla..! , maybe a fairy tale inspired I could say. ( a blank thought in my head , if  I ever had this thought or either imagined it, might be maybe in my childhood I guess, smiling to myself now), so back to my line here.

So every girl would have had an outline of THE Mr Right , the most common deadline that we set for ourselves is to be married and have at least one kid by the time we hit the thirties mark. It`s the biological clock maybe that is ticking, either social norms or parental pressure. We tend to hit the panic button and tend to become desperate if we hadn`t found or met the better-half in the mid-twenties.

This is a typical situation for an Indian family and also for an Indian girl’s life. It is not easy to find the right one by ourselves or by match makings as the horoscope will the main constraint beliefs for a successful happy married life. 

These are a guideline in matching making process but making it successful lies in the fate of the relationship. This is what I believe about marriage life.

Most of us even end up dating all those wrong guys while knowing that we may not have a future with any of them at all. Many other women are lucky right from the start as though it seems like that they were born with special detectors to nose out the right guy and hit it off. 

We often hear couples telling stories that they were floored the very first time they met but how long did it last. Some have successful stories and I am happy and proud of them. I guess we need to learn the secret recipe of happy marriage life from them.

Sometimes, I felt as though was I missing out something in my list. I always saw my marriage life in a different perspective. I waited for a long years till finally I decided in settling down at 33. Yes, indeed it took me a while to look or find one, but I did have a thought if I had found the right one. Though it all depends I guess.

Contrary to the popular belief, discovering the better half is not about falling in love. Neither does it guarantee `living happily ever after`, a concept most women falsely to believe in. We women find certain qualities attractive and seek those in the other better half. This often results in disappointment as in my case. Rather than sticking to the media-inflicted beliefs, one should leave a lot of room for possibilities and have an open mind about the better half. 

Discovering the better half is a journey, a long process wherein the two grow together. It means facing challenges, sticking together through ups and downs, and putting in the best efforts to make the relationship work. 

In any relationships , the communication is the main key and another  important things are in trusting the significant other and being honest, respectful  and oneself for being the people who we are individually and what we  are when we are together.

In its purest essence, discovering the better half is like discovering the true self. It`s not just in finding a person who I might think is the right one also but the actual feeling as like finding the better half that completes my oneself.

Marriage is the purest relation by tying the knots not only bond for the present life but they vow to be together and shield each other as soul mates. The traditions may show a difference; the vows and rituals may be in different lingual but the purity of every religion binding the lifelong wedded relation, and the strength bestowed are the same.

I have learnt a lesson from my failed marriage which didn’t even last for 6 months or more. If there isn’t any trust and understanding in the relationship, everything around will fall apart? Besides those, ego and selfishness is also other constraints with differences arise with each another in their flaws as jealously falls into it too.

A Quote from my favourite inspired novelist Nicholas Spark - from Google

By taking each and every tread mutually with equal participation in every statement is vital in controlling the life’s pedals by own self rather being just influenced by immaturity and momentarily indefinable waves either high or low.

Marriages are said to be made in heaven, as each one of us have a partner crafted. We Hindu’s believe that there in this world, your soulmate is already born and waiting for you.

Indeed to drive the vehicle of a relationship, apart from love, patience, maturity to analyse the matter prior to proceeding with any actions, perseverance to strive for the best and be geared up for all suspicions, all these psychological virtues which holds the importance of understanding the marriage life. I have learnt so much from my very own marriage life which was dissolved lately as the only key of marriage, trust and understanding was breached beyond the expectation and respect of love was totally lost. There is no room to correct anything between the both when the trust itself is lost forever when there weren’t a room for love at all.

Quote from Nicholas Spark's book - The Last Song - from Google

If you don’t get respected and trusted in your marriage life, the life would be the worst ever you could suffer in with the only one you thought was your soul mate and love.

So maybe I made the wrong choice and a wrong decision quite early as I was one of those girls who had a dream of finding the Mr Right ended up finding the Mr Wrong and rushed into a dream and marriage.

Another strong quote of Nicholas Spark's - from Google