Not enough !

As day goes by, looking at all the past it’s not gonna make any difference now unless I look what is waiting further in front of me.

Totally behaving like an adult really doesn't bother me but it does bother others.

Others who ?

Oh ! they are the ones who had been watching me since I came into this world. They are the one that had been there in every step I have made and still making.

Maturity of being an adult is not useful at times as what I look at. I am also a human, even I have gone through my childhood years and of course I will still have my thoughts and behaviour as a kid in me. No human could deny that fact. We grow from it and it will remain deep in us.

When people grew older as they get , they tend to behave more like a kid than a matured eldest.

Who I am? I'm a human just like you with feelings and thoughts that might differ.

A human that has been growing day by day and aging year by year.

So what's wasted?

I don't see anything is wasted.

I'm not a total waste either.

I'm not a waste but worthy.

So don't tell me every humans have possibilities to erase their behaviours like a kid and act like a total lost matured adult that’s looks stupid for kids.

This is not the first time I'm facing these kind of identity crisis. I've been questioning myself about what actually defines me as a person.

What is it that sets me apart from the rest ?

What do people like about me?

What is it in me that annoys them?

What should I do to make myself likable, and be the best that puts me in a wreck?

I tend to lose myself this in reflective process, which is so ironical because I'm trying to actually discover myself.

Criticism comes easily for whatever said or done, but compliments, where am to find them.

It's not easy to win a compliment though; everyone will have their own perceptions and thoughts that will not easy fit in me.

Not so much. When you can't depend on people to remind you of your strengths, you have to look within and come up with something to win them by impressing their thoughts and likings.

I've always grown up without knowing what I want in life. It indeed took me sometime before I started placing the puzzles correctly in my life. This definitely made it easier for me to look beyond of what lies around me and it also modeled me as a person who never had strong opinions about things. Yes, I was able to adapt myself to what I was thrown into the change of society and new places (my college years), but I lost wanting to dig deeper into my true desires. When I realized this, it was time for me to leave my comfort zone and expand my boundaries (working life).

I started chasing my dreams that does not exist, pursuing my interests to something that could take me to my dream and in the process of finding my dream path. I began to create a new life for myself from scratch. A life in a completely new place, with a new set of people I'd never met before towards establishing a whole new lifestyle. It might not be a great accomplishment and where I stand now. I'm not a somebody but I'm still a somebody everyone still looks upon of who I am.

As the year comes to an end, a very important phase in my life finds closure with it. And this closure will be key to how everything else dawns and a new year with a new start comes by.