Everything is Planned
I was a happy cheerful person. I always made everyone else smiling by entertaining them all the time. My friends always loved me for my wittiness and cracking jokes. Being jovial all the time I was also a responsible person. My family always was there for me and I was always there for them. I had everything, lovely family, beautiful friends that cared for me. I also did my duty to God not only for my religion but for all. I went to mosque, I went temple and I went church. I celebrated all festivals with my family and friends.
I'm a heavy smoker and I do drink occasionally. I had a good , happy life with a decent job and good salary.
Sometimes life is not the same it may look , it also changes and it did for me. My book of life, my chapters had an ending.I didn't know it came to end quite soon. Despite I had been living with a wonderful life. It's doesn't always end this way, everything has it own ending when my own life story had it's ending too.
I was diagnosed with lung cancer. It was devastating for me and my family. I am an asthmatic patient and neglected my life. I didn't stop smoking when I had too. The universe took action on my life when I didn't . As now I regret and want to correct myself but it's too late for anything. I neglected my trust with all my beloved family and friends. It's too late for anything but just to live my life for the moment I could. To cheer myself and other just for this second. I don't know how long more I would live? Everything is happening for a reason? Reason of life.
Now it's a reason am suffering. Everyday I keep my thoughts clear and my supportive parents are taking it positively. They might feel the grief in them but they are not showing it to me. I know what they feel in them and what they are going through. I have not hurt anyone but now it hurts me when I see everyone around me trying hide their grief just for me.
I don't know how long more. I kept away from all my friends. I don't want to see everyone griefing for me. The more they all know the more pain I go through. I avoided my facebook and my calls. I'm in a silence mode by just spending rest of my days.
God what did I do ? Why me ?
PS: I wrote this if I was in the same shoe as one of my best friend, who is suffering from cancer. What would he have feel, the suffering of his guiltiness.
Nothing permenant and we can't plan our life when the book of our life has already been written. Just that we are flipping each pages and chapters and adding a note to a pharagraph but the story does not change. We do not hold anything in our hands. Everything is planned.
I'm a heavy smoker and I do drink occasionally. I had a good , happy life with a decent job and good salary.
Sometimes life is not the same it may look , it also changes and it did for me. My book of life, my chapters had an ending.I didn't know it came to end quite soon. Despite I had been living with a wonderful life. It's doesn't always end this way, everything has it own ending when my own life story had it's ending too.
I was diagnosed with lung cancer. It was devastating for me and my family. I am an asthmatic patient and neglected my life. I didn't stop smoking when I had too. The universe took action on my life when I didn't . As now I regret and want to correct myself but it's too late for anything. I neglected my trust with all my beloved family and friends. It's too late for anything but just to live my life for the moment I could. To cheer myself and other just for this second. I don't know how long more I would live? Everything is happening for a reason? Reason of life.
Now it's a reason am suffering. Everyday I keep my thoughts clear and my supportive parents are taking it positively. They might feel the grief in them but they are not showing it to me. I know what they feel in them and what they are going through. I have not hurt anyone but now it hurts me when I see everyone around me trying hide their grief just for me.
I don't know how long more. I kept away from all my friends. I don't want to see everyone griefing for me. The more they all know the more pain I go through. I avoided my facebook and my calls. I'm in a silence mode by just spending rest of my days.
God what did I do ? Why me ?
PS: I wrote this if I was in the same shoe as one of my best friend, who is suffering from cancer. What would he have feel, the suffering of his guiltiness.
Nothing permenant and we can't plan our life when the book of our life has already been written. Just that we are flipping each pages and chapters and adding a note to a pharagraph but the story does not change. We do not hold anything in our hands. Everything is planned.
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