Where am i

I am an imperfect being. I know this better than anyone. I am callous and thoughtless. I am forgetful and my path to hell has already been laid. All I need is that hand basket. But I don't deserve the ride in it.

If you are caught up in my wake, the fast track to nowhere, leaving a swath of bodies behind me... Then I ask your forgiveness. Because I really don't know what I am doing. And I guess that is the problem. How can I correct my course

if I cannot see the horizon ahead of me. I just need to turn around to see the crooked path behind me.

And just as easily as a bad day can become good, so can a good day become another typical day of inconsideration and worthlessness. What did I do? What did I not do? How do I balance the good and the bad?

I was happy today. And at the end of it, I discovered that I had made some errors in judgment and more missteps. I basically sucked at life once again. Why bother trying when in the end, every situation can turn against you. I guess "trying and sucking at it" is a trifle better than just giving up? I don't know.

I mull things over and rationalize.
I tend to thinks things through before coming to a conclusion.
And sometimes that can take years.
But once my mind is made up, it's done.
I figure I am entitled to my conclusions since I've worked on them for so long.

As a result, I can withdraw from the world.
Taking things into my head and processing them there, away from the opinions and views of the people around me, allowing me to keep my own counsel.

t's been a while.
I don't really remember what I wrote before.
But since I am on the path to self-re-discovery, this is a good time to reaffirm for myself all the things that I am.


I knew I was smart, but high intellect?
I never thought of myself in those words.